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Introducing MC Criesalot

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Published: 2025-04-19 15:00:23
Discovered: 2026-02-05 14:24:07
Hash: d882fe7b5f41feaf38c05b0d028c42029eb0f454
https://www.tornevalls.se/introducing-mc-criesalot/
Description
This is MC Criesalot, a fictional drill-grime-hiphoper. He’s not just another rapper—he’s an emotional hurricane with a mic in one hand and a therapy bill in the other. Hailing from the softest corners of the hard streets, Criesalot became a legend not by flexing cash or cars, but by sobbing into designer hoodies and weaponizing vulnerability.
Content
This is MC Criesalot, a fictional drill-grime-hiphoper. He’s not just another rapper – he’s an emotional hurricane with a mic in one hand and a therapy bill in the other. Hailing from the softest corners of the hard streets, Criesalot became a legend not by flexing cash or cars, but by sobbing into designer hoodies and weaponizing vulnerability.

His style? A gritty cocktail of raw emotion, tongue-in-cheek bars, and enough existential dread to fill a group chat at 2 AM. Known for tracks that hit like therapy sessions in a mosh pit, MC Criesalot doesn’t hide his feelings – he samples them, autotunes the pain, and drops them over tear-stained beats.

His crew? Big Tissue, Lil Softboy, and of course Dr. Delulu – his producer-slash-therapist who makes sure the bass hits just as hard as the heartbreak. He’s the kind of artist who’ll pull up in a Prius, spill his soul in a freestyle, then Venmo his ex for the hoodie she never gave back.

From failed relationships to awkward brunches, his lyrics paint a picture of modern masculinity in a post-therapy world – where trauma is currency, and vibes get overdrafted like a debit card at brunch. Whether he’s ghosted or emotionally ghosting, MC Criesalot is proof that real gangsters cry in the booth… with a cup of chamomile.

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The truth behind this trackLyrics
The truth behind this track

MC Criesalot is a joke about bad gangster rap. It all started after stumbling across a painfully awful YouTube video from Trappdaplugg, along with a wave of drill and grime tracks that were aggressively brutal, sexist, and often just lazy – but quickly evolved into a satirical therapy session set to breakbeats.

At the time, I was actually searching for vocal inspiration for a new house track – something that danced on the edge of explicit language but could still fly on radio without getting censored, in true style of Pete & Bas that I recently remixed. That didn’t pan out. So instead, I took a hard left turn.

The first parody attempts stuck too close to the original tone of the very specific soundtrack I intended to use as base, but none of the vocalists quite fit. That’s when MC Criesalot was born – a wannabe gangster whose biggest threat is an emotionally charged freestyle and a hoodie he never got back.

What if feelings were the weapon? What if DJ Getting Ghosted dropped a DnB track instead of a diss?

He may look the part, but MC Criesalot isn’t here to flex – he’s here to overshare over a liquid DnB.

The vocals are enhanced using AI, while all instruments, melodies, and beats are entirely DAW-produced, as per standard. Unlike those claiming “self-made” with zero original input, this track is built from scratch – even the AI-generated lyrics were refined and processed in the DAW to optimize delivery.

Lyrics

Yeah… huh… huh… emotional damage on the beat!You know you rockin’ wit’ Dr. Delulu… and his therapist.

I texted “u up?”—you left me on read, now I’m wildin’, woahTold my jeweler, “make my necklace cry”, I want diamonds, woahHuh, yeah, said you was loyal to me—then you liked his postYeah, I gotta know (is it real though?), huhI got bros—they all got bros too, broYeah, countin’ vibes, but I count my dough slow (math ain’t my thing)She say I’m toxic—I said “okay, that’s facts”I’m in the trap… of my own emotional pastHit from the back—then apologized fastI want respect—not just financial stacksI got the strap—emotionally strapped7.62 self-doubts in the magWhat you gon’ do when I send a long paragraph?Hit from the back—while discussing our pastYeah, huh huh, turned her around—she asked for my signDon’t wanna argue, let’s realignShe not in love—she just liked my grindTold my ex, “return my hoodie this time”Got outta jail, bought a rice cookerI’m goin’ up, but I still use Uber

No need to rush…Unless it’s brunch.

Yeah she bad—she also investsI’m with Big Tissue and Lil Softboy, emotionally repressedWe ain’t duckin’ no smoke, unless it’s a vapeTalkin’ green—but I still overdraft the bankFeel like Giannis—on a dating appSwipe so much, I got carpal tunnel (facts)They don’t want smoke—we show up in PriusesWe been them guys—like, since middle school musicalsYeah, we hard—like unpaid rentI freestyle pain—I call it thera-bent

I got plenty poles—for my curtain rod setBuilt my empire… in my momma’s basementHe was talkin’ down—so I muted the chatBrought shawty home—she met my catTold that ho, “respect my art“Run up on me, I panic and fartI’m cuffin’ his ho—emotionally, thoGreen light… to finally let goI run up some racks—but spend it on snacksHe pourin’ a line—I sip chamomile backShe irkin’ my nerves—like group project slacksI blacked out once—from emotional cracks

Fake Player but Clearly Sensitive!You lovin’ that girl—I was just readin’ her blogI’m sippin’ on tea—and I’m petting her dogRacks in my jeans—well, store receiptsYou say I’m broke? Emotionally, maybeThey want me to fall? I already did—into loveWalk in the room—they judge my CrocsGirls be spyin’—I’m watchin’ BridgertonShe wanna leave? Girl, I’ll runHe cry on the ‘net—me too, let’s healTalk on my twin? That’s a big red flag, for realRicky my jeans? Nah, these from SheinI’m way too fly—on Spirit Airlines, aye

(You know you rockin’ wit’ MC Cries-a-lot… and unresolved trauma)(You know you rockin’ wit’ Dr. Delulu… and his therapist.)(You know you rockin’ wit’ Dr. Delulu… and his therapist.)